two months in!

unlike my post below, i've adapted and my old habits are catching up to me.  i spent no time studying today. i just watched drama.  terrible, i know.  well, i'll make tomorrow worth it by waking up early and working all day. HOPEFULLY.

i used to think being in love with love is ridiculous.  well, i've pinpointed why i always tend to fall in love with dramas, their characters and corresponding story line.  it's because i've fallen in love with the idea of love as portrayed in the drama.  i know it's entirely unrealistic and won't aid me in my endeavors in any way.  but i can't help but find happiness in watching the warm affection that crosses all limits and boundaries to find happiness.

in particular, i was perplexed by this bit of story line.  girl is in love with a guy who loves her just as much but circumstances separate them (due to no fault of their own).  another guy stays by the girl's side through many years to help her and support her along the way.  he waits and hopes that one day, she would "understand" and accept. 

in many ways, he's just as much of a good man as the girl's love.  he might actually be more considerate than the other guy.  but she doesn't love him.  no matter what he does, she feels no love besides the love of a dear friend for him.  initially, i thought, "oh, i guess nice guys do lose at the end."  the girl's love wasn't exactly a perfect citizen. you could characterize him as a bad boy turned good through her love and understanding.  but back to the "nice guy."  he lost no matter what he did or how he tried.  did he lose because he was a good guy?

no.  because another girl loved him the entire time too.  she faithfully stayed by his side as well.  she might have been the "good girl" who lost.  however, i think that it's true what they say. you can't control love.  no matter how hard you try, love is something dictated not by reason and analysis.  rather, pure passion and emotion controls the path it takes. 

again, this is not always the case, however.  i would like to believe that love can be born after years of devotion and patience.  i have yet to see this happen.  however, its existence would show that effort and devotion matter.  i'd like to believe that these elements make the world a better place.

the big step

now that i've made that big step, i realize how big a commitment post-undergrad work is. i'm exhausted.  mentally and even physically because i've never had to sit still for so long. my days have been filled with class, reading and eating intermittently.  i don't really enjoy eating as much anymore.  all the anxiety and stress has gotten to my appetite.  the next few years seem like a really long time.  now i realize that i'm a romantic.  i had once believed it was okay just to immerse yourself in work.  that's not the case for me.  the dramas really are an escape.  they help me relax but at the same time, make me envious.  i'm talking about the romantic comedies.  not so much all the heartache from the dramatic ones.  and i really miss my nephew!  i have so much work to do this weekend.  it doesn't look like i'll catch up much.  i need to go home and get fitted for an ao dai.  then there's the 2 weddings in october.  i need to find a way to balance my schedule.  i want a free day to do nothing school related as well.  but it looks like i will have to do some work each day.  again, i'm hoping this works itself out.  i was so tired today.  but it's a new type of exhaustion.  i hadn't realized it until i woke up from a 2 hour nap that i didn't know i had taken.  i'm also tired right now as well. i will probably go to bed. 

hoping for the best <3

my cute nephew always cheers me up

disappointed

can't we all just get along? or try to? or be more conscientious?  understanding? take the people around us into consideration?

living with people is difficult.  even with family.  i hate it when people are blind.  to the things mentioned above. as well as to their own biases.

fighting off a summer cold

i caught something over the weekend and i'm still recovering.  i have a lingering cough which necessitates nyquil. which makes me sleepy.  so i'm fighting off sleep at this. very. moment.

in other news (as i try to keep my eyes open), i have started running again.  you don't realize how out of shape you are until you attempt something that you've always been good at.  for me, that was running the mile out on the track.  in the past, it was never a problem.  i always pulled it off without breaks in decent time.  but today, wow.  i took so many breaks and my heart was working extra hard.  i took an extra 5 minutes or so than i had in the past.  it made me a bit depressed.  oh well, gotta suck it up and try to do better.  i'll attempt it again on friday and hopefully this cold will be completely gone by then.

onto more girly topics...my skin has gotten back to normal.  i experienced a week of extremely dry patches on my face.  i had to go buy softener (something I had never used) in hopes of helping out my thirsty/dehydrated skin.  but it's better now. i don't think it's the softener itself.  more so my skin recovering.  i think it might have been the sekkisei sun protector because i experienced it right after i started using that. hopefully there won't be any other problems.

i spent more money i didn't have tuesday.  after buying the softener over the weekend, i bought myself a cute summer tod baker bag from nordstroms.  it was so cute and it looked even better as a crossbody.  i couldn't resist. i contemplated returning it but decided i might as well keep it.  i would have spent the money somewhere else anyway? yes, this is me justifying my shopaholic problem. 

i really would like to purchase a decent blush sometime soon.  but i've without the cash.  :(

i'm thinking of either nars orgasm, bobby brown multi shade tint, or a shiseido face color.  i guess i'll hold off on it until there is some major discount available.  which could be never? :(

happy july 4th!

well, it's offically over. i thought i could make it but it's july 5th right now.  oh well.

update?

so after much searching, i found the new kose sekkisei sun protector online and bought. it came a few days ago and it feels almost exactly like the shiseido sunblock that i've been using!  i hope it doesn't break me out and actually works at preventing hyperpigmentation.

cosmetics and skincare combine to make a multi-billion dollar industry that suck young girls and women into finding ways to look "beautiful", a term everyone understands is subjective. despite this, we grow up trying to live up to some version of it.  hopefully, it manages to make us FEEL beautiful.

on the verge

i should be going to bed. haven't really worked out much since my last post. and i'm about to turn another year older.  depressing, no?

excuse the rambling.  introvert on the outside. extrovert on the inside. if that makes any sense. 

zz

get back in shape!

not just physically but also mentally.  i've been letting myself go, taking the easy route.  but i need to be taking care of my body as well as my mental state more.  i was extremely irritated today. for lack of a better term, i was pissed.  i felt so out of control -- by not having control.  i've also realized that i have an ego (yes, ha ha) as well has have pride(?) issues.  i know it's bad but i feel so protected with it. i guess i need to tone it down a bit but at least i have some form of a defense mechanism.  right?

iope sunblock white spf47

I have been searching for a powerful sunblock with whitening power to prevent pigmentation (freckles and sun spots) for a while now.  My sister recently bought the Laneige Star White Multi-protector and it has what I want in it...BUT it's so darn sticky on the skin.

I've gotten so used to Shiseido's super liquidy sunblock that I cannot stand the sticky residue the Laneige sunblock leaves behind.  One of my coworkers says she uses the Iope Sunblock white and she really likes it.  I tried it on in the store on my arm and it does feel LESS sticky than the laneige sunblock. However, it is still a cream.  I have yet to find a different whitening sunblock that is affordable.  The Iope one is around $35 for only 2 fl.oz. so that's already gosh darn expensive for a sunblock.  I heard the Dior Snow sunblock is good but it's around $50 (more than I'm willing to spend).

I've been searching online for reviews of the Iope sunblock but alas, to no avail!  Has anyone tried this sunblock besides my coworker??? Is it even suitable for younger skin? *SIGH*  I wish they gave out samples so I could try it on my face for a few days.  This really stinks.

summer nights

no, not the grease song. i find myself staying up late for no other reason than not wanting to go to sleep.  ridiculous, i know. especially since these nights will be the last few opportunities that i will have for a while to sleep as much as i want for as long as i want.  i shouldn't take them for granted. i am a bit sleepy right now but i don't want to go to bed. 

ok i've made up my mind. bed time!

oyasumi!

reverting back to my regular self?

or more so getting over my latest craze.

anyway, i found out that i enjoy thought provoking phone conversations.  too bad they've been on the non-existent side lately.  and staying up late has made me develop night time munchies.  i'm really hungry right now and could use a giant eggroll.  yum.

vietnamese food really is the best.

dosokai

strange how interesting this is. and how i'm rooting for the other side.  strange.

crazy obsession: RESTART

i find Jung YongHwa to resemble kim hyun joong but look a lot younger and manlier.  i guess he looks like KHJ before his surgery. haha OMG i apologize for the following craziness...

he's so cute and talented! i lot his hair! and his style (or maybe just korean guys)! his band has a pretty good song out right now called Lonely and dang can he sing! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!! sooo cute!!!

his character is totally jinhoo from BOF but more aggressive! i like!  indulge in the following pictures and clips will come later bc it's already midnight soon! :)

  look at those lips! yum ;) lee min ho mixed with kim hyun joong anyone?

  very Kim Hyun Joong

Very him, perfect in his own way :)



sorry for the fangirl blog!

Updated wishlist

i probably should call this a new one because i don't even remember what i wanted before! i'm going to try the laneige strawberry yogurt peel gel tonight and see if i like it...well see if my skin is okay with it!  i hope i do and it is! and i also want the mask! ok ok, so here's the list:

laneige strawberry yogurt peel gel
laneige strawberry yogurt pack
shiseido face color (blush) in pk304 (BUT i just saw a different shade at nordstroms so i might have to check that out first before i decide on which one)
shiseido color stick in champagne or peach blush
lancome eyeshadows (because i love them and lancome is having a promotion with a super cute tote bag!!!)

i want so many things but i don't want to be broke :(
i guess all the makeup is not as important as the face stuff so i'll work my way down the list?!

drama update

WOW, i had a really intense Friday evening.  I watched the season finales of Grey's Anatomy and Gossip Girl. AND i watched the last 2 episodes of Personal Taste.  okay, since i watched PT last, i will start the rant about it first.

AND WOW. it was such a good drama.  the story line was new and different.  the characters were really developed (well, at least the 2 main were).  and Lee Min Ho and Sohn Ye Jin are both amazing actors.  they were so expressive!  okay, on to the last 2 episodes.

i have to say ep. 15 disappointed me a little in that there was a small amount of dumb heroism.  jin ho (LMH) wouldn't tell his side of the story straight. granted that it was in line with his character but it dragged it on a bit.  i also got a bit irritated with how Kae In (SYJ) was so quiet when it came to the other dude and his dad. omg were they annoying.  but overall, i guess the episode was okay and ending great because it showed the beginning of Jin Ho regaining his backbone and stepping up to Kae In's dad.

But ep. 16 really took the cake!  it had angst, sorrow, happiness and sheer sugar (if you get what i mean).  so many kisses and even a semi-sex scene? well i wouldn't call it that but they supposedly slept together finally. it was really sweet how it was carried out tho.  no laying the female lead down and blacking out the scene.  i loved how Kae In grabbed Jin Ho's hand and let him feel her heart beating quickly.  it was so Kae In and the way Jin Ho reacted was also Jin Ho-esq.  it was super sweet and really brought those 2 together. then it followed with silly sweet moments and Jin Ho finally proposing to Kae In.  i thought it was also a nice touch with Kae In losing the balloons. hahah. overall, great episode and a great ending to a great drama :)

i was wondering why i liked Sohn Ye Jin so much since The Classic.   i think i've liked her in almost all of her movie works (i.e. a moment to remember, the art of seduction etc.) and this would have to be my favorite drama of hers.  okay, back to the topic.  i think Sohn Ye Jin is quite beautiful and natural in her looks.  she doesn't look like a typical korean girl or actress.  and i bet she wears very little makeup.  she's just so gorgeous naturally and cute at the same time.  and she has so much depth in her acting and expressions.  she is definitely my favorite korean actress, if not simply my favorite actress.

And Lee Min Ho has been redeemed by this drama.  i HATED him in Boys Over Flowers because he overacted so much and i think i have a very biased opinion because i hated goo hye sun.  gosh she is such a terrible actress and annoying.  ugghh, i'm not going to ruin my happiness from talking about her. honestly, i think BOF was a big failure and didin't capture the essence of hana yori dango.

ANYWAYYYYY i will definitely miss Personal Taste and i laugh at the people who don't enjoy it.  seriously, SERIOUSLY? there's so much to appreciate in PT that if you don't recognize it, you're either really slow or lack taste.

onto Grey's Anatomy.  it was an intense finale and really good and really exciting and fun overall. not overly bloody to me either. i think that was what caught my attention at first.

Gossip Girl was eh. it was okay and interesting. i guess my favorite part was the bitching out blair gave to jenny and how jenny was sent away and won't be back for a while :)

i'm going to continue with You're Beautiful. it's funny but nothing compared to PT.  and hopefully i get to watch more of sunao ni narenakute. but that's unlikely :(

ja ne!

food photos

so taking pictures of your food is really big right now.  but i always forget to take the picture before digging in.  on the rare occasions when i do manage to remember to take one, i would forget about it or its location on my computer. 

today, i actually found a few.  these are dishes at George's Thai Bistro in Costa Mesa.  I think they're from different visits but one is of a chicken pad see eew and the other is a duck curry dish.  both were DELISH.

New Love

i am absolutely in love with corals right now.  i've always found the shade to be attractive and beautiful but recently, it just seems so perfect for the season.  after finding my nail polishes to have somehow disintegrated into a substance almost like water, i went searching for the perfect spring nail color.  and i found my favorite shade of coral in a bottle of Rimmel London Lasting Finish Pro in Sunset Orange. the color is so pretty and it's supposed to last up to 10 days.  the polish itself is neither too thin or thick.  i spent $ 3.75 on it (i think) and it is my first nail polish that isn't less than $ 2.  i'm cheap when it comes to polishes because i always think of them as being too temporary and will usually end up dried or separated somewhere on my nightstand. but for this gorgeous, i made an exception.

i didn't do a very good job of painting my nails because i was watching Kick Ass at the same time.  that movie was....well let's just say the last few segments made up for the entire movie :)

toodles :)

sitting on a full stomach

just got back from dinner with my dad at kabuki. i didn't realize it was happy hour so we ate more than usual.  i'm super full and so is my dad.  too bad all of my favorite items weren't on the happy hour menu. but anyway, my craving for kabuki has been satiated which is good because we're on a tight budget this month.

on a different note, i am totally in love with these pictures.  erika sawajiri looks absolutely beautiful in them and her eye makeup is gorgeous! if only i could do that for my eyes...

Spring 2010 Drama List

I am currently watching

Sunao ni narenakute (Japanese)
Personal Taste (Korean)
Oh My Lady (Korean)

That's it? yes, i'm surprised at myself too.  the other series don't interest me much but maybe i'll sit down and watch Cinderella's Sister (Korean).

I just finished Oh My Lady yesterday and I will miss Chae Rim and Choi Si Won.  It was funny when the ex-husband was singing Sorry Sorry right as he met CSW. :)

Sunao's release is soooo slow. it's losing my focus because it takes forever for it to be updated and be watched by me.  I hope it picks up.  I don't know who i'm rooting for because Eita is cute with Ueno Juri but Jaejoong is cute and sweet too.

My favorite this spring would have to be Personal Taste.  Although i disliked Lee Min Ho in Boys Before Flowers, i absolutely ADORE him as Jeon Jin Ho.  He's funny, clever and sweet.  and of course i've always loved Son Ye Jin since The Classic.  she has aged a bit tho but i think she's still compatible with LMH in this series.  i don't know if i should wait for all the remaining episodes to be released before i watch them or continue on with the 2 a week pace.  last time i waited, i wasn't into the drama anymore.  but that was Autumn's Concerto and i think it lost steam towards the end. anyway, i'm on ep. 12 and i'll probably wait till 13 and 14 are out before i consider watching it.  i'm sure more angst sets in from this episode on out with the evil ex best friend and ex bf. heee heee.

<3

stuff i want to buy

mac moisturizing lip tint
mac blushcreme
100% pure eyeshadows
milani eyetech liquid eyeliner

i'll probably go to the mall for mac and wait for 100%pure to come back on hautelook.  who knew makeup could be so addictive? even when i'm not wearing any!

UPDATE:

i bought the MAC lip tint in petting pink (for $14.50) and i love it! it's very smooth and the color is sheer.  decided to wait on the blushcreme because i don't use makeup often and i have a lot of my shiseido powder blush left.

i'm still waiting on the 100% pure stuff and passed on the milani eyeliner.  i think it will probably be very similar to the covergirl one that i bought a while back and NEVER USED.  the liquid eyeliners don't work on my eyes because they take a while to dry and i tend to smear them when i blink.  i'll probably give it away or throw it away. or let it sit in my makeup bag until it dries up...=/