SO SUPER EXCITED!!

EXCITED!!

sundays

sundays make me melt. why? because i stay home to hang out with my dad. it isn't much hanging out because after breakfast and the usual morning errands, he goes to nap in his room until late afternoon. during this time, if i'm lucky, i have something interesting to watch. if not, i slowly melt as i watch random stuff online or on tv, nap intermittently and get fat through snacking. by 5 pm, i'm likely to be a pound heavier as i melt and melt some more. i miss saturdays. saturdays are always more fun. USUALLY.

i have to go volunteer tomorrow. lame. the courthouse is seriously super boring.

deja vu

it's funny how time is invisible and extremely powerful at the same time. you would think that something without physical form or shape would be relatively weak. but time is not. it is a force that everything must adhere to.

i ran into a few familiar faces over the weekend.  rather than feeling happiness or excitement, i felt awkward and tried to get away.  it wasn't just this weekend.  since i've been back in oc, i've bumped into old friends. or should i say former friends. once the closest people to me, they have become parts of my past. i know what you're thinking. i should take the initiative to reconnect. but things have changed. and they are still changing. even if i were to try, the connection wouldn't be the same. in a way, i would feel much worse knowing that despite our efforts, our relationship would be a mere shadow of what it once was. or maybe it's my antisocial nature. i don't know.  but the memories will remain beautiful. at least to me :)

summary

i will try and sum up the last few days (or has it already been weeks?) in the next few sentences.

i started Autumn's concerto and fell in love. with the story, characters and actors. and as you can see, i found another picture to be part of my umbrellas, lovers and rain collection.
i fought and made up. and fought again. and made up again.
i advised my dad on certain things. he ignored them. and then chaos ensued. thereafter i lost my temper. that's about it. oh yes, i started school. had a few obstacles. but managed to get full time.

i guess the overarching theme is...lots of emotional instability for me.

work this weekend...

actually just tomorrow and saturday. and i am not looking forward to it. why? because i will be working with a bunch of curazyyy asian ladies who will probably bite my head off. and yes, that includes the customers. why? because i will be working at westminster mall and there is supposedly a big event going on. another reason why i'm dreading work this weekend is because my boss (or supervisor?) will be there to make sure i know the products and techniques well enough. *sigh* i don't like being under stress. i mean, it IS just a part time job but i can't help but want to perform well. yet i really can't because i've really only worked 25 hours. wow. here's hoping for the best!

and i will try a new look tomorrow. hopefully it makes up for the bangs that i butchered this morning. or it might not. i should probably go to bed so i can wake up early enough to not freak up and mess up my face tomorrow. *crossing fingers!*

-______-'''

i want to swear it off!!!

yes, use only the usual until friday :)

the miracles of makeup

so ever since i started working for shiseido, makeup has suddenly become my passion. well, not passion but i'm definitely more interested in it now. i actually want to BUY some makeup rather than use my single eyeliner forever. and all the samples i get from my sisters. well, i have powder and blush etc. now and i really want to learn new looks and stuff. so i go to youtube and watch michellephan and ahanhbarbie (i guess they're makeup gurus) to learn.  it's really fun to watch and imagine how i would apply it. but when i try it on myself, i have to be honest, i HATE the feeling of makeup on my face.  i feel like i can't touch my face at all, let alone scratch my eyes which i ALWAYS do.  i just prefer my solitary eyeliner. well, i don't mind so much for work because i know i have to wear full makeup.  and it's for money. i mean, i make money by wearing makeup to work so it's okay in my mind. but on a regular basis, i don't know how people do it.  i don't even like to wear all that junk on my eyes to go out.  i tried the whole eyes look and i hated it. yesterday i just did liner and mascara but i still hated it. so alas, i'm back to the solitary eyeliner. oh well. i think i'll save my makeup money for the usual stuff i aways buy: SKINCARE. hahaha i LOVEEE skincare products. and i think they're much more worth it. and of course i love to shop for clothing :) which reminds me that i just made a purchase on UrbanOutfitters. i'm super excited for it. i hope they fit right...wish me luck!