Foods to avoid

i feel like this blog is becoming the "morning-after-full-of-regrets" list of unhealthy meals.  yes, i did it again.  no, it wasn't a tuna melt.  after a night of productive (or so i would like to hope) exercising, i started today with a chicken mexicano burrito from baja fresh.  i thought...hey, it's chicken and beans (which has protein) and rice and cilantro (carbs and possibly veggies --which i did add later), that's gotta be healthy.  boy was i wrong.

i feel gross again.  i think it's the tortilla that makes me feel so full. or just the size. i need to learn to have portion control somewhere in my diet.  well, i will not have another REGULAR burrito again for breakfast.  except for the whole wheat ones.

so the list so far of foods to avoid: tuna melts, burritos

a quickie!

had ANOTHER tuna melt. i feel absolutely gross considering how i've been trying to eat healthy, exercise and lose weight. i have class in about 7 minutes so gotta make this quick.  read up on some health news on msnbc so i'm gonna try a few different exercises and maybe go to henry's to grab healthier snacks for home. but i also want to go to urban to find that dress! i guess i can make up some exercise on thursday bc ry will be out of town.

i really wish i had learned ballet when i was younger. or some type of physical activity.  maybe i'll go to a salsa class this friday (it's only $15 a session).  i think i have to watch my weight because i'm pretty sure i have more fat than is obvious.  that will take its toll on my health sooner or later. maybe go grab a decent pair of running shoes today. omg i need a job!  well, one with more hours at least!

downtime

i just had a decent tuna melt (of course not on par with the ones at GBC) and have some time to update. 

all my life i've been told to be smart and intelligent.  i study and went to school. i even managed to graduate.  but that same encouragement always perplexes me.  because, after all, i was told to BE intelligent. can one BE intelligent? or is it something that is innate and inherent...
there are various different types of "intelligent" people that i've met throughout the course of my life so far.  there are those who are so smart that they radiate it without spouting big words and complicated sentences. there are those who try hard and speak with clarity and understanding.  and there are those who seem to use their entire being to portray their "smarts".   i don't know which category i fall into (probably none of the above bc i'm a slacker at heart!).  but i tend to respect the formers more so than the latter. but how do you judge? how CAN you judge?  do grades correlate with being intelligent? does knowledge of many things imply wisdom? i have no idea. what does schooling mean?


that's probably why there are those who drop out of school. well, that's all. from the perspective of a slacker :)

SO SUPER EXCITED!!

EXCITED!!

sundays

sundays make me melt. why? because i stay home to hang out with my dad. it isn't much hanging out because after breakfast and the usual morning errands, he goes to nap in his room until late afternoon. during this time, if i'm lucky, i have something interesting to watch. if not, i slowly melt as i watch random stuff online or on tv, nap intermittently and get fat through snacking. by 5 pm, i'm likely to be a pound heavier as i melt and melt some more. i miss saturdays. saturdays are always more fun. USUALLY.

i have to go volunteer tomorrow. lame. the courthouse is seriously super boring.

deja vu

it's funny how time is invisible and extremely powerful at the same time. you would think that something without physical form or shape would be relatively weak. but time is not. it is a force that everything must adhere to.

i ran into a few familiar faces over the weekend.  rather than feeling happiness or excitement, i felt awkward and tried to get away.  it wasn't just this weekend.  since i've been back in oc, i've bumped into old friends. or should i say former friends. once the closest people to me, they have become parts of my past. i know what you're thinking. i should take the initiative to reconnect. but things have changed. and they are still changing. even if i were to try, the connection wouldn't be the same. in a way, i would feel much worse knowing that despite our efforts, our relationship would be a mere shadow of what it once was. or maybe it's my antisocial nature. i don't know.  but the memories will remain beautiful. at least to me :)

summary

i will try and sum up the last few days (or has it already been weeks?) in the next few sentences.

i started Autumn's concerto and fell in love. with the story, characters and actors. and as you can see, i found another picture to be part of my umbrellas, lovers and rain collection.
i fought and made up. and fought again. and made up again.
i advised my dad on certain things. he ignored them. and then chaos ensued. thereafter i lost my temper. that's about it. oh yes, i started school. had a few obstacles. but managed to get full time.

i guess the overarching theme is...lots of emotional instability for me.